Monday, January 31, 2011


My allergies and sinuses are so bad right now that my contacts hurt to wear. My eye doctor told me that allergies embed into your contacts and no matter how much you wash or rub you contacts they don't come off so you have to use new contacts. I am cheap and poor and I don't want to replace my contacts every week or two vs. replacing them every three or four weeks like i'm supposed to. Needless to say i've been wearing my glasses lately. I've got a very old pair of glasses that aren't cute and probably over 6 years old so the prescription isn't up to date. Then i've got my cute trendy thick framed glasses that are very strong. (They were actually readers and I had the eye place pop the lenses out and make me new ones.) Well here's the thing my cute glasses hurt my head. I've gotten them adjusted twice but I think I need to adjust them again. I don't like wearing the old ones in public. Long story short, I'M BLIND!!! God save me cause i'm only 21 and I have the eyes of an 98 year old senile woman! I took off my glasses at work for 5 minutes and couldn't ring up a transaction without putting my face literally 2 inches from the screen. I can not believe how bad my eyes are! I can't use a computer without magnifying it to 150.. I legally can't drive without glasses or contacts..

I wonder what its like to wake up in the morning and have the world be clear.
Eye surgery is definitely in my future.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


If any of you know me, you know I love flowers. All kinds, all colors. I truly believe they enhance the quality of life. If you know me even better, then you know that I like to pretend my middle name is Rose. (Need an explanation, read my very first blog post!) If I had extra money to spend i'd buy myself flowers once a week just to be able to look at them. I've loved flowers and all things floral way before it became a trend a couple years ago but that is neither here nor there. But if you need proof, just look in my apartment, you'll find it on pillows, scarves, clothes, my couch, my tea kettle, my apron, a suitcase, etc. Okay, so the reason for this post is i've been a little bummed out lately.. I have put on some unwelcomed weight and I hate it. If you know my family, then you know i've got 4 stunning sisters, who happen to be tall. I'm the shorter curvy one. I was having one of those moments yesterday where I was depressed and while skyping with my sister in India here friend Martin told me something that I loved! He said something to the affect of, "You can not compare a lotus flower to a rose. They are both beautiful. But they are both different. A lotus can't try to be like a rose and a rose can't try to be like a lotus."  I immediately got a smile on my face. He said just what I needed to hear. Then, it just so happens that while I was flipping through my old journal for some inspiration on the memoir I have to write for English that I came across something that our rasta tour guide at Bob Marley's resting place, Nine Mile, in Jamaica told us. He said, " we are all flowers, we just grow differently." I can't believe I had forgotten that! I know my trip to Jamaica was like 10 months ago but i'm actually glad I stumbled upon it today. These may be corny and cliche  to you, but I adore every word of both quotes. So, not only do I love flowers for there very beautiful aesthetic, but because their meaning to me is deeper than that now. I can't wait for spring to come!
me spring/summer 2010 smelling the roses by apartment

Monday, January 24, 2011

definitely not a rant & pups

So, my last post was a rant about the financial woes of my life, and although I'm still feeling that way but  huge blessing came my way last week... I got money from the "Pepsi Generation Excellence Award" committee! I feel so thankful! I need this money and its going to make my tuition cost a little bit less :) YAY!

On another note, i've been thinking a lot about our dogs at my moms house. I love them and miss them! I know it's cheesy, but I love going there and seeing them even if it's just to pet their head for a second. Roxy is as old as my littlest sister, 12, so she's getting old :(  it breaks my heart. She is the biggest sweetheart and I remember falling asleep cuddling with her as a puppy in the garage when we first got her. She always wants to be loved and she's very protective of our house and family. Our other dog Nikoma, she's a bundle of energy. I always tell my mom once I get a house I want to take her. She is crazy, wild, and sweet. She's plays catch and can jump so high! Even though she is kinda naughty and hyper-active, she's great. I love these pups and wish I could see them more... 


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

a rant

I just need to complain for a second about money... bare with me.
How is an independent student supposed to pay for all of the following:
  • Car insurance= about $145
  • Car payment= $113
  • Cell phone= $101-$104 (someone get on a family plan with me!)
  • Rent= $530 (I live alone so that explains the high rent, and yes that is a choice i'm glad I made..)
  • Gas and power bills= anywhere from $30-$95 together (my apartment building is so old and probably not even insulated to keep my apartment around 63*, which isn't warm at all, cost me $70 in December, lovely huh)
  • Tuition for Spring 2011= $1,484
  • Books for this semester= $200-$350 i'm too afraid to actually go buy them
  • All the stupid retarded fees school has= $30 so far to pay my tuition in 4 installments
I'm 21, live on my own. Take care of my cat and my little sisters cat. Work in Draper and Live 20 minutes away. My parents aren't in the possition to help me out financially, which is okay! I've been paying for things on my own for a very long time. But today, I am financially stressed. I have 1 credit card with a $1,000 credit limit which I put my tuition payments on and try to pay off the next month. AH! I don't make enough money and I really need a new job... I can't go shopping anymore, which is fine too i've got plenty of clothes. I'm trying to sell some of them even. I just HATE MONEY! I feel like it holds me back from all my dreams. And the best part is, even though i'm in a pickle with money, I can't help thinking about how badly I want an acoustic guitar. Pathetic, I know! I know there are so many people out there that have it worse than I do. And i'm so happy to have what I do have! I'm just stressed, ya know?!